Yes, the whole album, actually.. Just listen to it. You will not regret it. This is some of Eric Claptons greatest works, I believe.
Forgiveness. That's always been tricky to me.
I often carry a load full of things I need to forgive on my back. Most of them are addressed to myself.
Today I woke up jovial. Even with two strange dreams, and Nick having a dream he awoke angry with me for, we soon giggled it off and went about our morning.
After some coffee and rubbing the sleep from our eyes, we got on the subject of Eric Clapton. We watched a few You Tube clips of him performing, and biographies of his life have been watched before by the both of us, and we began to talk about how he would be a wonderful person to just have coffee with, and talk life.
How often do you wonder that about someone? Upon meeting someone, I wonder what that person is like when they are just relaxing with a friend. I believe, that's when we are at our best version of ourselves. When you are comfortable just being.
So many people have two sides.
What they allow others to see, a front, that keeps a shiny image woven into the public collective thought.
And, then who they are when there is no conversation.
I know that I love relaxing with Nick. He and I can talk for hours about good music, good art, and silly conversation. We laugh loud, and go mega nerd on each other with quantum physics questions. We sit in silence sometimes, just listening to music. But there is nothing lost without conversation. We are still very much together in the room. I can feel when he is having ideas, and I can feel his rhythm in his movements and the way he paces in his mind while playing. He calms me from my restlessness. He allows me the time I need to relax. I am able to be quiet and still and not have to fill up empty spaces. I like us.
While relaxing today, and having long winding conversations while sipping coffee and enjoying our Sunday, I thought about what I had been holding on to emotionally, and old baggage that comes up from time to time when you least expect it. That stuff you hadn't let go of for a while, but then you realized it wasn't all that important to be hauling around with you.
With out going into two very long and drawn out stories, I can say I have forgiven today. Twice.
Life this good, and feeling that I can weather any storm because I have guidance and protection from the Lord is where I am drawing strength. And I feel the footholds of new adventures, and I need to pack light :)
Forgiveness is good for the soul. It helps you to remember that maintenance (tuning into God) and time (God's timing) heal any hurts, no matter how old.
That gets me on the subject of being close to God. Lately I have been battling harder against my SPD. It's getting easier. I am able to calm my self down more by praying while in a situation that might seem unfavorable by my mind.
I read a daily devotional every morning called "Jesus Calling". It talks a lot about staying close to Jesus and he will shower you with peace. I firmly believe in this. It's getting me through times I would have normally had to excuse myself from or would have had a full on panic attack. Life is good with God near to me.
Within this peace, I have felt as though my self doubt is withering away. I feel as though I need to remind myself that even though some things ended (NOT failed.) I need to pick up my now lighter pack and move on. More than in my career. More than in my past relationships. More than grief. Just everything I do not need to tote around anymore.
Here is to a new and improved year. To another year spent huddled under God's protection, and giving thanks for blessings yet to come.
Life is good today.
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